It’s constantly in the back of my mind, people are looking like “oh, is she going to be able to fit through that, is she going to break that chair.” I can’t do what other moms do with their kids; I’ve never even sat on a swing with them. If I continue to gain weight, I am going to die from my diabetes.
When I first met my doctor, I met her one-on-one and I didn’t feel uncomfortable because I knew she wouldn’t look at me differently because she had been in my shoes. The day I walked into my first support group, I was scared because, being heavy, I don't like being in crowds; I feel uncomfortable. There was a guy standing there, and he asked me, “What got you to this point?" I explained, my children are noticing that I am fat. He said, “You know what got me to this point? When I went out with my friends and broke a chair, I said to myself, I’ve gotta do something.”
I think people are going to look at me like “oh, she took the easy way out.” But it's a life-changing experience. Hearing other peoples' stories makes me want to work harder and better myself and lose more weight.
It’s not that easy to lose the weight. When I get stuffed, I don't stop. I’ll finish my meal rather than walk away. In the beginning, I wasn't ready for all this change. I was asking myself, “Am I going to be able to do it?” But I have to do this.
I take it all in and look at it like, “Look at the end result, I have a goal, that's my goal I’m trying to reach and I can't wait to get there. So just suck it up and deal with it, because in the end you're go into be happier.”
I’m 100% ready. This is it. The day is here. I’m doing this to make me a healthier person. I’m hoping that after surgery I can come off all my diabetes meds. It’s going to be a major change because for the last 6 years of my life I have been on pills.
Physically, right now I feel amazing. I’m no longer taking meds for diabetes, my numbers used to be in the 4 and 5 hundreds, but now my sugar levels are normal. My cholesterol is lowered; I’m not on high blood pressure meds anymore, my kidneys are finally holding all the protein they should, and the only pills I take every day are vitamins.
As you lose more weight, you see yourself doing a lot more. I used to want to just lay around, and now I just want to get up and do things. I used to be a size 24 and now I’m fitting into a 16.
Before surgery, I was diabetic, had to take insulin twice a day, and was on high blood pressure meds. It was horrible. Now I’m living life, I love it, and I’m so happy. I feel like I can do it. I'm going to continue to exercise, continue to eat the way I’ve been eating, make sure I keep up with my vitamins and my doctor's appointments, and go to my support group.
I say to anyone that was in my shoes 6 months ago or a year ago, if you are really thinking about having surgery, I really think you should look into it, do your homework and talk to somebody, do everything in your power to set yourself free and be who you want to be.